How to hook up at a hardcore fest

In 1998, U.S. Rocker’s Ebeneezer Grouse hit the road with his crew from Cleveland to Columbus for the biggest Hardcore fest in the Midwest. You can see Ebeneezer’s original article in the July 1998 issue. Or read the report below—now with the full photos we didn’t have room to publish in 1998. Enjoy the bonus videos at the end too!

The More Than Music Collective presented their annual festival June 26-29th in Columbus, Ohio. This fest featured over twenty Punk / Hardcore / Indie bands, such as Hot Water Music, Los Crudos and Braid, as well as socio-political workshops on topics like political activism and same-sex partner abuse.

The More Than Music Fest is well known among punk summer festivals and has been attracting attendees from all over the country for the past five years.

My question is: do these people come solely for the aforementioned bands and workshops, or is there something else?

Well, there must be something else, because while the bands were performing I found the majority of the assembled masses across the street, and even fewer attended the workshops.

What were they up to? Debating the fate of political prisoner Mumia Abu-Jamal? Shopping for rare records at bargain bin prices? Panhandling?

Yes, all of those things and more!

More Than Music Fest 1998 Newport Music Hall Columbus Ohio U.S. Rocker

“Excuse me, but would any of you ladies like to collaborate on a confession zine?”

The self-proclaimed “Scavenger” (aka Kelsey) provided some insight: “I’m only looking for hot guys and to spend money.” Hmmmmm, how interesting… The first piece of a very large puzzle.

In order to analyze how much of the puzzle this quote constituted, I first had to research courtship rituals of today’s youth. How would one go about finding “hot” guys?

Well, I asked Theresa, who provided me with an example from her own experience: “We were in line looking at records and I asked him to switch places.”

Did this approach succeed?

“We wrote long distance and then he moved to Dayton” (her town).

Andy briefed me on methods of his own devising: “Hey, that band’s pretty good!”

Sweet, dude. Whatever floats your boat.

Now, what if you don’t have the courage to attempt to switch places in line or comment on a band? What are you to do?

The revelation came not as the burning bush, but in the form of a flier advertising a game of “spin the bottle” sponsored by the More Than Music Collective itself.

The flier was humorous in nature. It said “Kiss your favorite zinester.”

Hmmm, maybe I should start a fanzine.

It also read “Kiss your favorite activist.”

This offended my sensibilities because I truly believe that as a society, we should, hand in hand, do everything possible to free Mumia.

READ: An oral history of Junking Theory, one of 1999’s greatest bands

I attended the advertised function (occurring at 12:26am EST; all Pacific and Western readers please adjust timepieces accordingly), and to my surprise, I wasn’t witness to innocent pecks on the cheek, but to vile acts of the French persuasion!

US Rocker Bobby Conn Hawkwind More Than Music Fest 1998 Newport Music Hall Columbus Ohio

See the original report from More Than Music Fest 1998 in U.S. Rocker. Downloads are free. Paper copies still available!

Sexual orientation was not on the menu, as participants were required to adhere to the whims of the bottle whether it supported your preference or not.

Some were not pleased with the judgment of the bottle; tomfoolery ensued.

People began to place the bottle instead of spinning it, and three way kisses were also added, giving birth to an orgy of carnality as Mahalaleel begat Jared.

I have never seen such a bastardization of American pastimes and values.

This from those who claim to wield the Flaming Sword of Justice and the Gleaming Shield of Temperance against the chains that bind us all as Prometheus was bound to his stone.