• R.I.P. Ari Up—Punk icon was hanging at Women House in L.A. just last summer…what happened?

• Moe is no schmoe—Velvet Underground drummer Tucker talks Tea Party politics

• Mark E. Smith is just as rad—This old coot throws bottles at young bands & says “Shut them cunts up!”

• Kanye replaces his teeth with diamonds—Not a prank or a joke as far as I can tell

• Scientists unveil “audio zoom”—Parabolic microphone/camera combo has free speech-chilling/domestic spying ramifications

• “What can CMJ be said to do?”—Music media is fucking funny