• “SoCal rules the charts”—From Avenged Sevenfold (#1) to Best Coast (#36!? Wow!), the Southland dominates the Billboard Top 40

• Man DIES petitioning Warped Tour for cheaper water—Lack of hydration the suspected cause

• Aretha Franklin breaks two ribs—Laments missing hot dogs, conveniently skips Rangel dinner

• Jerry Garcia biopic denied use of Garcia’s music—This movie might not turn out so bad after all…

• Tantric sex freak Sting to market his own line of…—Salami! Go figure

• Music with heart—literally—Ensemble use heartbeats to generate music & visuals in real time