If you wondered why I haven’t posted much in 2023, or why I stopped hosting Fridays at Oracle Tavern, well, here’s your answer: I was on the path to a messy divorce without even realizing what was happening.
Many of you have experienced this, so you know. Divorce is so confusing. Full of grief and loss. Soul-shattering.
If you find yourself in this situation, please don’t beat yourself up. Everything happens for a reason. I have to keep reminding myself of this as well. “Accepting life on life’s terms” and all that. (Easier said than done sometimes.)
I posted an edit of this on social media back on August 13th. Here’s the full thing:
Breaking my silence: My husband is suing me for divorce. We didn’t even make it to our 1st anniversary. Worse, he’s posting slanderous untruths about me on social media. And trying to fundraise off of them.
It’s a real kick in the teeth—by design, I’m afraid.
Why the acrimony?
I spent the last year as my husband’s caretaker after a Cervical Dystonia diagnosis (he has an incurable neurological disease not unlike Parkinson’s). Tragic, but he had my total love and support. We were a team. We got through early recovery and Covid together. We flourished together.
Around Christmas 2022 he began abusing and threatening me. Is his behavior the mark of a sober, sane adult person? I’ll leave that unanswered.
My lawyer says this sort of thing happens with certain very sick people. Still that’s no excuse for harassing my mother, my friends & interfering with my job. Not sure what my husband’s endgame is—or if he has one. Major thumbs down.
Lots of emotions here as you can imagine. Frustration, disappointment, embarrassment, grief. Surprisingly little anger. Mostly overwhelming sadness and worry.
If you’ve been contacted or bothered by anything he’s posted, feel empowered to block him. I’m sorry you have to witness this. There’s no going back for us so I won’t be put out. All I can do is pray for him.
I’m grateful to be sober today & grateful for your love & support. I doubt I’ll be posting anything more on this subject until the legal process is complete.
I could post a few shocking updates, but I’m not sure that publicly disclosing the lurid details helps move us past the horrible situation we find ourselves in. Like, having to sell our brand new home. Damn.
When this is all over, perhaps I’ll tell the tale. Or not.
Suffice to say: having your loving, but ill, partner and best friend turn on you in such a sudden and malevolent way is really frightening and totally demoralizing. Every day feels like a slog.
Despite all that, I know that I’ll push through. 12-Step recovery—and all the things I’ve experienced in this crazy life—have taught me to love myself. I’m going to stand up for myself and what’s right.
“All things must pass.”
Thanks, dear friends, for sticking with me. Better days are coming soon.